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breathing

1/20/2015

1 Comment

 
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Last week, I made two promises:  1) I vowed that I would blog every day for a week, starting yesterday.  When you finish reading this, I will have completed 2/7 of that pledge.  2) I also promised someone that I would give meditation a try.  I've made fleeting efforts in the past, but they were less an experience of meditation than one of stressing out in a less comfortable position than usual.  Weirdly, it's not the quiet that disturbs me - as an introvert, I'm pretty content with the idea of being alone with my thoughts, until my thoughts finally get bored and leave, allowing me (presumably) to enter into a meditative state.  It's the whole breathing thing that freaks me out.  Every "guide" I've listened to or read has started with this simple instruction of "listen to your breathing."  It is meant to relax me, but as soon as I start paying attention to what my lungs are up to, the whole system goes haywire.  I am reminded of the days before a piano recital.  The music is memorized, and my fingers know exactly where they need to be when, and everything is in place - until I start actually thinking about how to play the piano.  Suddenly, my fingers start tripping over each other and I lose my place in the music, and the flowing notes of Für Elise turn into Chopsticks meets Falling Down the Stairs meets Sudden Stop.  

This fear of the sudden stop has prevented me from finding the focus on breathing to be an effective pre-meditative relaxation technique.  The minute I sit down, straighten my back, plant my feet and dutifully turn my attention to my breathing, I discover that I am not, in fact, getting enough air.  Panic sets in and my breaths become increasingly shallow and rapid and ... I'm gasping just thinking about it.  

My goal with www.dabble-u.com, is to help people engage with their interests long enough to allow those interests to change them in some way.  Dabble ducks feed from whatever is available just below the surface of the water - dipping in just long enough to grab their meal.  But it is a meal.  What they find there in the shallows is enough to feed them, to sustain them, and to nurture their growth.  It makes sense for me to spend a few days dabbling in "breathing."  After all, it's kind of at the center of everything I do.  I will be contacting some people I know who are in the "business of breathing," while reading, studying, watching, experimenting, and - with any luck - figuring out how to breathe in a way that deepens my connection to life.  If you have any thoughts, or want to join me on this Dabble exploration, please comment below.

1 Comment
Faye Bailey
1/20/2015 12:05:27 pm

I have never found focusing on my breathing helpful. And I have never been successful in maintaining a meditation practice by myself. The time I really got into meditation was a contemplative prayer group with a few friends. The meditative silence was preceded by a short scripture passage or paragraph from a profound writer. I found meditating on something from those words more meaningful than meditating on my breathing. Then we all talked - good conversation. It was a variation of The Writers Group.

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